Hobo with a Shotgun

Principal cast: Rutger Hauer
The Gist: A hobo in a disgusting neighborhood tries to raise 50 bucks to buy a lawnmower, but finds his calling as a shotgun toting vigilante and takes the law into his own hands. The classic old rich white dude and annoying teenage cronies had it coming.
Year: 2011
Who's Responsible: If you really think about it, Tarentino and Rodriguez for bringing back Grindhouse and making those fake trailers that look too good to not be made into features
MPAA Rating: R
Content: Lots of blood gushing violence with a little drug use and topless goons on the side
Run time: 85 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink every time 1. something not sold in stores is used as a weapon 2. the hobo shoots someone with his shotgun 3. an innocent victim is injured/killed 4. someone is thrown in the glory hole 5. the homeless are exploited
Not suggested to be used as snack: broken glass shards
Why you should watch it: It's a great throwback to the Grindhouse genre with lots of inventive deaths and innovative weaponry. Plus, the way it was shot looks amazing.
Why you might want to avoid it: You don't like the sight of blood or the idea of ice skates as an innocent object being tarnished.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: A-
Doesn't quite live up to Machete standards which has the A-list director and cast on its side, but an enjoyable crowdpleaser nonetheless.

Tokyo Gore Police

Principal cast: Some Japanese people. That's not racist, dammit!
The Gist: Having mistakenly not dropped acid before watching this, I will attempt to summarize the best I can. There's this crazy homeless lookin dude wielding a chainsaw, this chick arrives, presumedly of the Gore Police, the dude gets some limbs chopped off, the girl cuts herself a bunch of times, so on and so forth. We find out there is this Key Master who creates "engineers" who are really just badly mutilated people who are brainwashed into going after the privatized police force, which by the way, is a really bad rip-off of Starship Troopers. So you've got guy with dick chewed off turning into machine gun dick, and the chick who bit it off turns into a half-chick, half vagina crocodile, there's another dude with shotgun barrel eyes, and this dude with an eyepatch that has a gun that shoots severed fists. I'm almost forgetting the snail chick to slithers around on the floor and the dude who keeps this human-dog thing on a leash. I realize now summarizing this film is quite daunting, so let me just say it is extremely gory and bizarre and leave it at that.
Year: 2008
Who's Responsible: The Japanese
MPAA Rating: R
Content: Lots and lots and lots of gore, blood spurting, severed limbs, perverse nudity and deviant sexual acts, and some more violence and gore for good measure
Run time: 1 hr 45 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink 1) every time a limb is severed 2) blood begins to spurt (compound 1 + 2 when necessary) 3) you see something you've never seen before 4) Starship Troopers is ripped off 5) a body part turns into a virtual killing machine 6) someone in the room vomits. On second thought, eat a nice meal right before the movie and see who goes the longest without heaving it.
Why you should watch it: Because it's in a class of its own.
Why you might want to avoid it: You just had lunch or dinner and want to keep it down.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: B
The extreme graphic nature of this film may not be for everyone, but for those with iron stomachs and those of you not easily shocked, it will make for a mighty enjoyable Movie Night.

Batman and Robin

Principal cast: George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia Silverstone and Uma Thurman.
The Gist: The 4th installment in the pre-Chris Nolan Batman series and the most puntastic disaster of them all, complete with Bat nipples and Batman AmEx cards.
Year: 1997
Who's Responsible: Joel Shumacher
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Content: Mild action violence and tons of punny sexual innuendo
Run time: 2 hours and 10 minutes of misery
Suggested drinking game: Drink every time 1. anyone uses a pun or one-liner 2. there is a close-up of butts or nipples 3. Batman and Robin argue 4. Poison Ivy does something seductive 5. Batgirl does something she's not supposed to 6. Mr. Freeze freezes someone (the puns alone will have you reeling pretty fast)
Suggested drink/snack: Freeze Pops
Why you should watch it: It's so cheesy, you have to see it to believe it. Every pun and one-liner is stomach churningly bad to the point where it starts to make you laugh at them.
Why you might want to avoid it: You just watched Batman Begins or The Dark Knight and don't want to vomit watching what preceded them.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: B+
This is a BAD movie, the worst in the history of comic book adaptations, perhaps. If lines from Arnold like "Ice to meet you!" and "Cool party" make you giggle due to their insulting nature to screenwriters, you'll love to laugh at it. If not, you should spend 2 hours chilling elsewhere - excuse that pun.

Pootie Tang

Principal cast: Chris Rock, Wanda Sykes, JB Smoove, Jennifer Coolidge, Missy Elliot, Todd Barry, Dave Attell, Kristen Bell and David Cross.
The Gist: Pootie Tang, a pop culture icon and crime fighter, tries to resist the charms of Jenifer Coolidge as an evil Corporation run by The Man try and use Pootie to spread their negative messages and products
Year: 2001
Who's Responsible: MTV and The Chris Rock Show
MPAA Rating: PG-13
Content: Language, mild violence and silly sexual situations
Run time: 70 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink every time 1. Pootie says something in his own "language" 2. Wanda Sykes is seen dancing 3. Chris Rock coaches Pootie 4. a female is degraded 5. the Belt whips someone 6. Trucky is repeated 7. Pootie does something that improves his positive image
Suggested drink/snack: Tang
Why you should watch it: Many reasons: Pootie's phrases, Wanda's dance moves, Chris Rock as a corn stalk, David Cross in black face, the way women throw themselves at Pootie, and because it's a pretty funny blaxploitation film written by a WHITE guy (Louis CK)!
Why you might want to avoid it: If you are not a fan of absurd, random stupidity. You have to enjoy the sense of humor portrayed to enjoy it.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: B+

Make no mistake about it, Pootie Tang is not a good movie, but it is so silly and parodies blaxploitation in a unique way that it is often a laugh riot in its incredibly short run time.

Leprechaun in the Hood

Principal cast: Ice T, Coolio and Warwick Davis
The Gist: The fifth installment in this "franchise." Ice T steals the Leprechaun's gold and the little guy gets real pissed.
Year: 2000
Who's Responsible: Rob Spera, whose main credits include Skinemax projects such as Midnight Temptations 2
MPAA Rating: R
Content: Naughty language, violence, drugs and some sex
Run time: 90 min.
Suggested drinking game: Drink every time 1. The Leprechaun rhymes 2. someone is killed 3. you hear a one-liner 4. Ice T is ghetto 5. drugs are used and finish your drink if The Leprechaun raps.
Suggested drink/snack: Lucky Charms
Why you should watch it: Warwick Davis' leprechaun rap.
Why you might want to avoid it: The painful one-liners, and because it is a straight-to-video film called LEPRECHAUN IN THE HOOD.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: C+

Whenever the Leprechaun is not killing or rhyming can be agonizingly dull, but the dumbfounding script and his rap at the end give it some redeeming value.

Anaconda

Principal cast: J-Lo, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Owen Wilson, Danny Trejo and Jon Voight
The Gist: Documentary filmmakers J-Lo and Ice Cube go on a nice little jungle cruise trying to capture rare footage of a tribe (that probably doesn't want to be filmed) but run into Jon Voight, a creepy snake hunter who commandeers their boat to catch big ass snakes.
Year: 1997
Who's Responsible: Colombia Pictures
MPAA Rating: It was one of those dumb PG-13 horror movies
Content: Jon Voight's creepiness is enough to get a PG-13, but there is some bone snapping and regurgitated animals to go along with it
Run time: 90 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink every time 1. Jon Voight leers 2. Ice Cube does/says something ghetto 3. there's a shot of J-Lo's butt 4. something/someone is regurgitated 5. a snake kills someone 6. someone goes into/out of water 7. Owen Wilson is horny 8. anyone calls for "Mateo"
Suggested drink/snack: Snake Bites
Why you should watch it: Jon Voight. The man takes creepy to a whole 'nother level. Be patient and stay for the wink at the end. Plus, the bad CGI snakes are fun to laugh at too.
Why you might want to avoid it: The movie takes a while to get going. The dumb film crew takes forever to figure out what Voight's character is actually doing.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: B+

Despite its absurdity, the cheesy dialogue, surreal snakes and Voight's over the top performance make this an enjoyable drunken view.

Deep Blue Sea

Principal cast: Thomas Jane, Sam Jackson, Michael Rappaport and LL Cool J
The Gist: It's the classic tale of scientists test Alzheimer's cure on sharks, sharks get genetically modified, angry and hungry as fuck, and scientists try to out-wit the sharks' pre-meditated attacks.
Year: 1999
Who's Responsible: Warner Brothers
MPAA Rating: R for some gory, out-of-fucking-nowhere deaths
Content: Blood, unnecessary explosions and Saffron Burrows in a wet T-shirt
Run time: 1 hr 45 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink any time a shark eats someone. Drink anytime there is an explosion. Drink anytime someone mentions research. Drink anytime someone says shark. Drink anytime you groan at the dialogue.
Suggested drink/snack: Shark fruit snacks.
Why you should watch it: For Samuel L Jackon's tremendously inspiring speech interrupted by him being bitten in half by a pissed off shark.
Why you might want to avoid it: It's a really dumb, low-brow action movie and 99% of it is completely implausible.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: A-

The shitty CGI sharks, silly script, dumb plot and unnecessary explosions make it look like a made-for-SyFy film, but perfect fodder to make fun of with your friends.