Hobo with a Shotgun

Principal cast: Rutger Hauer
The Gist: A hobo in a disgusting neighborhood tries to raise 50 bucks to buy a lawnmower, but finds his calling as a shotgun toting vigilante and takes the law into his own hands. The classic old rich white dude and annoying teenage cronies had it coming.
Year: 2011
Who's Responsible: If you really think about it, Tarentino and Rodriguez for bringing back Grindhouse and making those fake trailers that look too good to not be made into features
MPAA Rating: R
Content: Lots of blood gushing violence with a little drug use and topless goons on the side
Run time: 85 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink every time 1. something not sold in stores is used as a weapon 2. the hobo shoots someone with his shotgun 3. an innocent victim is injured/killed 4. someone is thrown in the glory hole 5. the homeless are exploited
Not suggested to be used as snack: broken glass shards
Why you should watch it: It's a great throwback to the Grindhouse genre with lots of inventive deaths and innovative weaponry. Plus, the way it was shot looks amazing.
Why you might want to avoid it: You don't like the sight of blood or the idea of ice skates as an innocent object being tarnished.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: A-
Doesn't quite live up to Machete standards which has the A-list director and cast on its side, but an enjoyable crowdpleaser nonetheless.

Tokyo Gore Police

Principal cast: Some Japanese people. That's not racist, dammit!
The Gist: Having mistakenly not dropped acid before watching this, I will attempt to summarize the best I can. There's this crazy homeless lookin dude wielding a chainsaw, this chick arrives, presumedly of the Gore Police, the dude gets some limbs chopped off, the girl cuts herself a bunch of times, so on and so forth. We find out there is this Key Master who creates "engineers" who are really just badly mutilated people who are brainwashed into going after the privatized police force, which by the way, is a really bad rip-off of Starship Troopers. So you've got guy with dick chewed off turning into machine gun dick, and the chick who bit it off turns into a half-chick, half vagina crocodile, there's another dude with shotgun barrel eyes, and this dude with an eyepatch that has a gun that shoots severed fists. I'm almost forgetting the snail chick to slithers around on the floor and the dude who keeps this human-dog thing on a leash. I realize now summarizing this film is quite daunting, so let me just say it is extremely gory and bizarre and leave it at that.
Year: 2008
Who's Responsible: The Japanese
MPAA Rating: R
Content: Lots and lots and lots of gore, blood spurting, severed limbs, perverse nudity and deviant sexual acts, and some more violence and gore for good measure
Run time: 1 hr 45 min
Suggested drinking game: Drink 1) every time a limb is severed 2) blood begins to spurt (compound 1 + 2 when necessary) 3) you see something you've never seen before 4) Starship Troopers is ripped off 5) a body part turns into a virtual killing machine 6) someone in the room vomits. On second thought, eat a nice meal right before the movie and see who goes the longest without heaving it.
Why you should watch it: Because it's in a class of its own.
Why you might want to avoid it: You just had lunch or dinner and want to keep it down.
Overall Bad Movie Night rating: B
The extreme graphic nature of this film may not be for everyone, but for those with iron stomachs and those of you not easily shocked, it will make for a mighty enjoyable Movie Night.